It is very crowded but I am relieved to see an open seat. My 7-year-old lectures me on being extremely late and mutters something to her friend “my mom probably couldn’t find the right outfit.” What a sad example I am setting! The very patient teacher hands me the admission bracelets and my chaperone list and we get on the bus. I rush up to the school as they are getting ready to get on the bus. Chugging it in the car on the way was a shock to my system and not in a good way. I only drink soda a couple of times a year. In dire fear of the caffeine withdrawal headache I grab a soda out of the back fridge. Now it is 8:55 and the school is about 8 minutes away. This takes a good 5 minutes of me talking to a bird asking it and then begging it to leave. I now have to get it out so I can close the door to leave. I open the garage door and a very angry bird flies in. I settle very unhappily on something and run downstairs. I am so uncomfortable and now it is getting later and later. I put on a dress – can’t do the shoes with the dress and can’t do sandals without it looking like a ferret tried to eat nail polish off of my ragged toes. I put on a pair that are the right length. Okay so the Tom’s are flat so most of my jeans are too long. Yes they are trendy but they are super comfy, hide the fact that I desperately need a pedicure, and they are not sneakers – I already have cankles so I prefer only wearing sneakers when I am pretending to work out. I bought 3 new pairs the day before (DO NOT tell my husband), none of them remotely appropriate for walking. What do you wear for a field trip? We are going to an aquarium. Time starts to tick away and I need to get dressed. I get the kiddies on the bus but get sucked into something completely irrelevant on the computer. Looking back I should have just put wine in it. Okay so my daughter will get the Starbucks bag and I guess I am stuck with a wine bottle bag. This stresses my by the book first-born out so bad she starts to cry “It has to be a plain brown bag!!” My smallest brown bags are a Starbucks bag and a wine bottle bag. As I am feeding the kids breakfast my responsible daughter aka the first-born who keeps mommy in line, reminds me that we will need brown bags for packed lunches. If I put the kids on the bus at 8 I should have about 45 minutes to get dressed, get breakfast and most importantly go out to get coffee. I quickly glance at the trip itinerary thinking it says to be there by 9. Strike one on the mother daughter bonding. I plan on driving my daughter in but she prefers to ride the bus to be with her friends. I now know it is on the same list for me as Field day. So doing a field trip was unknown territory. If there is a ball somewhere in an open field chances are it will hit me in the head. It is scheduled, stress-free, and patterned. I am best in a situation where I am delegated to, like volunteering in the classrooms to help out with different learning centers. Some moms are rock stars at baking, some at decorating, some at organizing. But you must know your own strengths and weaknesses when it comes to helping out with school functions. I can only assume I was drinking when I signed up for this. So I volunteered to chaperone my daughter’s 2nd grade field trip.
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